Vaccine Vent

*** This will be long, I'm incredibly annoyed at the moment******

We do months of research before we buy a car, we check out housing foundations, neighborhoods, school districts before we purchase a house, we even check movie reviews before we spend 20 bucks on a movie but for some reason parents are scolded for doing research on vaccinations.

Why?

Vaccine information is not only found on anti-vax sites. Its found on the center for disease control and the AAP websites too (yes, the sames sites that doctors also look at) but people are told they are idiots when they choose to delay vaccinations or only selective vax or ::gasp:: not vax their children at all. What I find most amusing about this is those same individuals that point their judgemental finger don't do any research at all and blindly follow the doctors reccomendations.

Heres why I find it funny. Do you buy a car from a dealer just because the salesman says "this is a great deal, wonderful car blah blah", no of course not. But because someone spent 8 years in medical school and has the title of "doctor" what they say is gold. Forget that they too get paid by parmaceutical companies to give you those same vaccinations and although they may not be slimy like a car salesman they definetly have more of a motive to go with vaccines instead of another route of treatment, don't you think?

Usually when I say anything about vaccines I immediately hear about Jenny Mcarthy and the autism MMR link and why would you listen to a celebrity? The answer: I don't. I do my own RESEARCH. I'm not talking about the risk of autism when I talk about the dangers of vaccines, what I'm talking about things like chronic arthritis (which has been linked since the early 90s to the rubella vaccine) or allergies, brain damage, deafness and skin issues all which are clearly stated on even the pro-vaccine websites.

Some people say "hey, those are the risks and i'd rather take those small risks than having the HUGE risk of my child catching what we vaccinate against". Well, can you tell me what the chance of your child getting something like polio or diptheria is? What the risks are? How about how well the vaccines work? My guess is no since you were trusting someone else to do your research for you.

For example right on the CDC's website they say "pertussis remains endemic in the U.S. despite routine childhood vaccines". So if the vaccine for whooping cough isn't working to reduce the number of cases of whopping cough why do we still vaccinate for it?

Or how about the Hep B vaccine. Can someone explain to me why it is now a routine for our BABIES to get a vaccine that is mostly caused through sexual intercourse or IV drug use? Sure, if my kids going to get a tattoo at some unsafe place I would make sure he was vaccinated but i'm pretty sure my almost 1 year old isn't planning on swapping fluids or getting tats anytime soon.

Or how about how in the last 15 years the number of vaccines children get has gone from 10 to 36? We now vaccinate for chicken pox for heavens sake! and guess what! YOU STILL GET CHICKEN POX AFTER GETTING VACCINATED!!!

MMR has been proven to fail if given before 15 months of age but the AAP suggests giving it at 12 months. None of this is hidden information its right there in the studies done by the Gov't and Pharma companies so why aren't you reading it before injecting your kids with chemicals? Why does the rating of a car or movie become more important than your child and whats going into their bodies?

I could care less if someone chooses to fully vaccinate their children, but it drives me nuts when they don't do any research then give me the speak about how i'm a bad parent and i'm selfish and i'm uneducated. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Point is.. research.
Vent Over.

Quick almost wordless update!

I've been busy busy busy unpacking, gettin settled and chasing after Ryland but I've found a few seconds to say hello and give an update.

First, Springfield is great, Mark's new job is great and Ryland is great! We adopted a new cat, who we are currently calling David Venable Jr (from the QVC Host) but I think it might change. I'm not a big cat fan but Mark talked me into this kitty. Hes great with Ryland, which is a huge relief. Ryland has unwrapped almost all of our presents under the tree so most of his gifts are in the basement waiting until last minute to appear under the tree. I was going to do Santa this year but I know he has no concept of Santa yet (other than he is a scary man who says HO HO HO) so Santa can come next year when he is almost 2!

Gotta run!

Powdered formula could cause premie deaths

http://www.suburbanchicagonews.com/beaconnews/news/1279129,aurora-baby-formula-risks-au111308.article

The Chicago Sun Times just wrote an article stating that powder formula could have caused the death of multiple babies by giving them meningitis (and other bacterial diseases).

The story begins with a family who had pre-mature twins november of 2007. The twins were given Enfamil powdered formula while in the NICU and one of the boys passed away due to meningitis. On his death certificate there was a note from the Illinois Department of Health stating that his formula consumption was associated with his death.

The article says the reason powdered formula is so risky is because it cannot be steralized. The container states "... powdered infant formulas are not sterile and should not be fed to premature infants or infants who might have immune problems unless directed and supervised by your baby's doctor." Mead Johnson since has also come out and said that this product should not be used in any neo-natal care units. The only reason I can imagine that a NICU would use powdered formula even though their is a risk right on the can is that its much cheaper.

This is not an isolated case, there have been reported brain damage and deaths country-wide. Why has no one heard of these stories? Its more than irritating. Unfortuneatly we formula feed and we use powdered formula. We discussed formula options with our doctor and never were encouraged to not buy the powdered type (since my son has a heart defect I worry about potential illness) I can't even imagine losing my child because of a nurse/doctor giving them un-sterilized formula. I'm so sad for the familes that have lost their children.

Vaccine Safety Awareness Form for your doctor

On mothering.com they have a link to a vaccine safety awareness form that you can give to your doctor to read and sign stating that he is aware of all the problems vaccines can cause and that he/she believes vaccines are 100% safe to use on your child. I love this idea for parents who do choose to vaccinate their children and heres why:

1. You HAVE to go over all the possible side effects with your doctor. I know they hand you a sheet at the end of the appointment stating the possible effects but I think most parents just throw that sheet away, plus why bother giving the possible side effect sheet at the end of the appointment AFTER your child has been vaccinated? This way you have to know ahead of vaccinating the risks included.

2. The form has statistics and information from VAERS (Vaccine Adverse Event Reporting System).

3. It holds your doctor accountable

I think having such a form available will get parents to research vaccine safety. Most parents just do what their doctor tells them without questioning them. Educating yourself on vaccinations is important, you should never just take the word of someone especially if they are getting paid to do what they are encouraging you to do (think about it, would you buy a car just because the salesman says its a great car? of course not! You do your research and even if it turns out that you love the car at least you can say YOU made the decision for yourself).

Breastfeed babies have a reduced risk to sleep apnea!?

http://www.brianpalmerdds.com/bfing_reduces.htm

Yet another reason to breastfeed your child. While reading a forum on mothering.com (a new favorite site I might add) I discovered that breastfeeding reduces the risk of obstructive sleep apnea. Because breastfeeding is SO important to the proper development of the swallowing action of the tounge, proper alignment of the teeth and shaping of the hard palate by not breast feeding your child is at risk to have a V-shaped palate which can cause sleep apnea. OSA (obsructive sleep apnea) causes snoring, daytime sleepiness, periods during sleep where you stop breathing, and in adulthood can cause headaches, depression as well as a HUGE number of problems which are listed in the article.

This study has been around since the 1970s yet, I've never heard that breastfeeding helps to form the palate before. I've always heard the basic health benefits of breastfeeding and how it helps mother and child bond but I have never heard anything to do with the pallate. It got me thinking, if I had never heard that until now how many other women are out there unaware that by choosing to formula feed they are creating future serious problems oral health wise for their children?

I found the following quote from the article interesting, "before the invention of baby bottles and pacifiers, high palates, narrow dental arches, and overjets were rare." Why didn't a health association try to promote breastfeeding instead of pushing for formula? Why when you are sitting at the OB office pregnant and being handed every pamphlet on everything are you not handed a pamphlet on the ill-affects of bottle feeding?

Its just something to think about...

Advocate for legalizing homebirth CPMs

Hello Iowans! We need to add our voices to those asking Iowa legislators to legally recognize the credentials of certified professional midwives, or CMPs for short. CMPs practice in homebirth settings and can currently be prosecuted for attending laboring mothers who want to have a home birth. We need to legally recognize the credentials of the CMPs to expand the birthplace choices for Iowa familes. It shouldn't be up to the government where we can have our children.


Friends of Iowa Midwives is planning to introduce a bill to licence CPMs in Iowa in the 2009 legislative session, beginning January 12. We need to write our senators or representatives and let them hear our voice. Our opinions matter and they will listen if enough of us make a stand on our beliefs. To find out who your local representatives are, visit this page for the Iowa State Legislature and enter your address:http://www.legis.state.ia.us/FindLeg/

For more information on this issue, you can visit the Friends of Iowa Midwives website:http://www.friendsofiowamidwives.org/ . If you visit the friends of Iowa Midwives site and let them know you wrote a letter you also get a bumper sticker! Whoo-hoo! So please, write a letter and let your representative hear your voice!

Chicken pox cases increase since vaccinations

I saw this article on a chicken pox vac thread on mothering.com and thought it was very interesting. I am personally completely against the vaccine and really only understand parents who choose to get a male child in their teens vaccinated.

The article is about how since 2005 there has been a 41% increase in the # of chicken pox cases in Texas even though there is a requirement to get it by age 8. This article is not anti-vacs so I don't want people not reading because they think its a biased piece.

What I found interesting while reading was the following:"Shirley Schreiber, director of health services with the Northside Independent School District in San Antonio, said vaccinated students who get chicken pox end up staying home the same number of days as they would have without the vaccine."

I find that statement interesting because the reason the chicken pox vaccine came out was to keep parents from taking off work, ask your doctor they'll admit it too. So why bother having the vaccine if your vaccinated child still has to stay home the same number of days? The whole point of the vaccine was convenience to parents and their workplace but its looking like the vaccine isn't really that convenient so why are they still pushing the vaccine!? I'm just lost and confused why we keep pumping our children with chemicals for no reason. Bizzare.
http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/metropolitan/5471556.html

co-sleeping study

I saw this on The Human Pacifier and had to share

Scientific Benefits of Co-Sleeping
Popular media has tried to discourage parents from sharing sleep with their babies, calling this worldwide practice unsafe. Medical science, however, doesn’t back this conclusion. In fact, research shows that co-sleeping is actually safer than sleeping alone. Here is what science says about sleeping with your baby:

Sleep more peacefully. Research shows that co-sleeping infants virtually never startle during sleep and rarely cry during the night, compared to solo sleepers who startle repeatedly throughout the night and spend 4 times the number of minutes crying 1. Startling and crying releases adrenaline, which increases heart rate and blood pressure, interferes with restful sleep and leads to long term sleep anxiety.

Stable physiology. Studies show that infants who sleep near to parents have more stable temperatures 2, regular heart rhythms, and fewer long pauses in breathing compared to babies who sleep alone 3. This means baby sleeps physiologically safer.

Decreases risk of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome. Worldwide research shows that the SIDS rate is lowest (and even unheard of) in countries where co-sleeping is the norm, rather than the exception 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9. Babies who sleep either in or next to their parents’ bed have a fourfold decrease in the chance of SIDS 10. Co-sleeping babies actually spend more time sleeping on their back or side 1 which decreases the risk of SIDS. Further research shows that the carbon dioxide exhaled by a parent actually works to stimulate baby’s breathing 11.

Long term emotional health. Co-sleeping babies grow up with a higher self-esteem, less anxiety, become independent sooner, are better behaved in school 12, and are more comfortable with affection 13. They also have less psychiatric problems 14.

Safer than crib sleeping. The Consumer Product Safety Commission published data that described infant fatalities in adult beds. These same data, however, showed more than 3 times as many crib related infant fatalities compared to adult bed accidents 15. Another recent large study concluded that bed sharing did NOT increase the risk of SIDS, unless the mom was a smoker or abused alcohol 16.


I always love when people post information about the benefits of co-sleeping because so many people think it is so dangerous and I often get comments about how I should not be co-sleeping with my son.

Its been a long time

Updates updates! It's been a busy month. We're moving in two weeks for Springfield, Il! I am so excited but that means I'm very busy right now too. Mark is not much of a packer so I've been packing away everything while taking care of the little Mr.

Both Ryland and I were really sick the last week and a half, Ryland had croup (still no idea where he caught it!) so we were dealing with a bad cough and sleepless nights. I'm still really stuffed up and congested. My mother-in-law came over yesterday to help me get some stuff done around the house. We had some touch up paint to do which turned into having to paint the entire living room. The walls were so dirty from all the dust in my condo that there was no way we could get away with doing a touch up here or there.

Ryland is walking! Lucky for me hes not running yet, or even walking everywhere but he can walk from the chair to the couch, or from Mark to me so I consider that walking (5 or 6 steps is walking right?). I can't believe how big he is getting. Every day his personality comes out more and more, it is the most incredible thing to see him figure out something new or be proud of himself for doing something. Tonight he waved at a girl behind us at the cash register we didn't even know he could do that! He's a flirt. I haven't put up new pictures in a while because Mark has limited me on what I can put onto his computer since I had like 200 GB of space taken up of photos and videos.. oops! The pictures on this post are the more recent photos. You can see his teeth. We've got 5 teeth now and I'm pretty sure theres another one coming in.

Thats all for now, I should be asleep!

First Day at the Beach!!

Somewhere on the shore in Jersey... It was colder than expected

My New Obsession: Freezer Paper

While visiting my parents in New Jersey I discovered that even people that are not naturally crafty (meaning me) can BE crafty and look like they are crafty!! Using freezer paper I created this adorable paddington bear shirt for Ryland. Since making this shirt I have been obsessed with creating more, even my 16 year old brother is talking about how cool it is that he can make his own shirts.. I never thought I could have so much fun making shirts.

My brother made this one for Ryland using a character from thecreaturesinmyhead. He just printed out the picture from the comuter and traced it. Isn't it cute?

I'd put the steps of how to make these shirts up but I think the only person who reads this is me so if there is someone out there that came across my blog just google freezer paper. TONS of information comes up! Enjoy!

Sarah Palin really bugs me

So last night I watched the last day of the GOP convention. Sarah Palin and her entire family were there supporting McCain. The fact that her entire family was there is what bugged me. He went on around what, 10:30pm? She has a 4 month old and her youngest daughter Piper can't be more than 7 or 8. What the heck is her youngest daughter doing at the GOP convention at 10:30 at night? I understand that shes trying to show that her family is supportive of this McCain/Palin campaign but I think that America gets that she has her children to worry about too and we (the country as a whole) wouldn't have even mentioned it if her daughter and son weren't there. We understand that sometimes a child needs to go to bed. When they panned over to Piper last night she looked exhausted the poor thing.

One of Palin's issues is how important family is and I have YET to see her during this campaign put her family first. Her youngest son Trig (who has Downs) is 4 months old. She was giving a speech in Texas when she went into labor and decided to finish up her speech (which took 30 mins), thats not a big deal esp because she was on her 5th child and probably knew her body well enough to know it wasn't a rush but then she decided to get onto a PLANE and fly back to Alaska (which apparently is like an 11 hour flight). WHAT THE HECK WAS SHE THINKING?? She knew her son had downs syndrome (which means he may of had a Congenital Heart Defect) but decided to get onto a plane while amniotic fluid was leaking down her leg and take an 11 hour flight-potentially risking her child's life. Yea, that really sounds like she puts her family first. Or how about the fact that she spent a whopping 72 hours with her newborn son before returning to work??? As a mother I can't even imagine leaving my brand new baby after spending only 3 days with him.

I have no problem that she is a successful woman. I could care less that she enjoys working and instead of her staying home with her children her husband has taken on that role. I don't even understand the media's facination with her oldest daughters pregnancy (Bristol who is 17), IMO you can't control what your kids choose to do even if you want to. I know I was having sex at her age and it could have just as easily happened to me (although I find it humorous that she is very opinionated about not having sex ed in schools and then her daughter gets pregnant). I do have a problem with how she treats her children and how she says they should be "off limits" then go does an interview with OK magazine. She parades those kids around to make herself look good. She makes it very clear that she is first and not her children.

Vent over. Just had to get it out. I do have issues with her politics as well but that might be for a later post.

Wordle

So i've found this really cool site wordle where you can imput words and it makes a cool pattern. I made this word jumble and I'm planning on printing it and framing it like this girl did. I think its beautiful, creative and you can really customize the artwork in your home.

© 2008 Jonathan Feinberg
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I haven't been blogging much because my little man is teething like crazy. I can see the two bottom teeth coming in so as you can imagine I have a cranky little Mr. on my hands.

I brought Ryland with me...

to get my eyebrows waxed. They were in serious need of maintenance and since I couldn't get in yesterday while Mark was home for a few hours I had to do it today and bring the little man. He's usually pretty good about sitting still in his stroller so I never strap him in but on the way there he was testing his limits and kept trying to stand up. I got there and within seconds of me laying down Ryland was up in his seat smiling at the waxing technician (is that what they are called?). I kept sitting him on his butt and the lady that worked there even gave him some bottles to play with (since the toys I brought him were much more boring than the salon), well he almost face planted onto the floor and luckily the tech caught him before he jumped-that's when he was put in between my legs. So I've learned that when going out Ryland needs to be belted in and if I want my eyebrows done well then I shouldn't bring him at all..at least they are better than they were and we got some more exercise today :-)

Bringing Enchantment into your home

I have always had a love and fascination of fairies. Most of my interest in them probably stems from my childhood when my mother read me stories about fairies, gnomes and the other magical creatures that live in nature, I even had paintings in my room of fairies hidden in the trees. I remember as a child always looking for them hiding in the trees and flowers.

I was reading one of my newest favorite blogs, simply me, when I discovered that I could buy a fairy door to put inside my home. This is right up my alley. I think it will be such a fun thing for

Ryland to grow up with in our home bringing magic into his life. How cute is this?

I was familiar with fairy doors in gardens but I guess the idea of putting fairy doors inside homes came from the newest spreading fad in Ann Arbor, MI (called Urban Fairies) where the town is slowly being covered with fairy doors outside of little shops. Children and adults alike are enjoying the new editions to the town. Apparently people are leaving coins and other little trinkets for the fairies by the doors. I wish we lived closer to Ann Arbor because I would love to visit all the doors, Ann Arbor is such a fantastic town I hope other towns follow suit and fairy doors start popping up all over the country!

Yummy meals!

I've realized that this blog cannot be entirely dedicated to my views on child care because I have thoughts on just about everything and i've recently become addicted to home decor, food and other randomness..

I've been sharing my daily dinner meals with some women on my private birth board forum. I am always searching for healthy(ish) quick easy meals that are tasty and I thought it might be nice to share the ones I find with whoever decided to stumble upon this blog.

Tonight is one of the new family favorites: Chicken pot pie pockets. Thank you Rachael Ray! Although I find watching her annoying I usually LOVE the recipes she has, this was one of the winners. Mark hates chicken but he eats this up. You can find the recipe here. Enjoy!

non-child related

So it looks like we will be moving by October which is exciting and nerve-wracking all at the same time. Odd part is we're still not sure where. Mark got an exciting offer to go to Washington and be the sales manager of a store outside the Olympia area for a few weeks as a test to see how he fits in that location. I think we'll end up out there but it all depends on how he likes Washington and if Kenosha, Wisconsin offers him a job. Although living in Washington state would be INCREDIBLE it is far from everyone we know and we would not see family very often which really is about the ONLY negative I can find.

In this moving excitement I realized that I am going to need to sell my condo. We recently fixed all of our floors and all the minor things that needed to be done but the one thing we REALLY need to do is fix our window treatments in the living room. I had needed curtains for almost a year when I found some at Wal-mart just before I had Ryland, they weren't beautiful or exciting but they worked with our color scheme and we desperately needed curtains. I had accidently bought two different sizes but due to just having a new baby and pure laziness we just left them hung up. We had a futon covering part of the wall so to the naked eye you could not tell anyways but we moved the futon about a month or two ago and wow does it look bad. You know you should be embarrassed when family ask "so what's going on with the curtains?".

 So the nestor (a new design blog that I have discovered) has a whole section on what she calls "mistreatments" which is basically cheap, easy and beautiful ideas to treat your windows. The whole idea of mistreatments made me think I had some hope for my own sad looking windows.. Mark laughed at me at first because I have no crafty talents at all but I found these treatments off a soft place to land and this is exactly what I want to do with our living room. I think I can reuse the fabric I already have (so I can stay cheap there) and all the other elements are relatively inexpensive and it looks AMAZING. I hope it turns our HALF as good as it turned out on Kimba's windows..

Wish me luck.

Its been a while

Life has been busy so I haven't blogged in a while but I thought i'd put up some pictures of my little man! He is getting so big!

This will make you mad.

Don't you know that breast feeding isn't natural? and is also SEXUAL ABUSE? Thats what pgmr64804 woman (who has posted 3 videos on youtube) is claiming. She says how glad she is that she talked her daughter in law out of breast feeding her grandchild because everyone knows that breast feeding is dangerous??

Wow, I really didn't know that there were people out there that felt like this.. How stupid can you be? Stuff like this really makes me sad...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=78tK2TxYtBw&feature=user
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dDwR67j2wCw
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VXb7q81B67k

I am not going to go into how STUPID this woman is because this would be a VERY long post. I just wanted to share.. maybe when I cool down I can shed some insight into what I think is wrong with that womans brain..

Another reason I wish I breastfed

Last night I almost wiped out and I would have taken Ryland down with me. He was up for his usual 4:30 snack time so I grabbed him and went to fill the bottle up, Mark left a belt and a shirt on our floor and I first stepped on the metal thing on the belt (which I broke) and then slipped on the shirt. ugh. The first thing I said was "this is why breast feeding is so much easier", the convenience of never having to leave the bed is something I am SO envious of. I also have come into the bad habit of falling asleep in bed while feeding Ryland, which usually results in the bottle leaking all over the bed, Ryland and me. Nothing quite like waking up soaked in formula..

A friend of mine was telling me how this week is world breast feeding week, more info can be found here. I couldn't believe some of the things she was telling me regarding the amount of women (in her state) that choose not to breast feed or stop breast feeding at 6 months. Its something Mark and I have discussed, mostly because we just can't understand the logic behind it. Besides the obvious benefits nutritionally of breast milk, why would ANYONE choose to spend an extra $30+ a week to buy formula when they could be saving that money and breast feeding?

 I was thinking about this and thought, maybe its that women are ashamed about breast feeding. Maybe the looks of strangers at a restaurant, in a store, comments made by pediatricians, family and friends has completely pushed the average American woman to not want to breast feed. From what I hear from friends, television etc, it seems that instead of encouraging women to breast feed they are told their children SHOULD be on formula. 

I know the night I gave birth Ryland was feeding like a mad man. One of the nurses came in to check on me and had asked when the last time he ate was. I told her he had been feeding on and off all night, she looked at me like I was an idiot (and to be honest, after that look I thought I might be). She said "oh he shouldn't be feeding that often, would you like me to give him some formula so you can get some sleep?". I being a first time young mom, stupid and uneducated before having my son thought that my natural instinct to feed him was wrong and I trusted that what the nurse said was right, I mean hell-she worked around newborns all the time. Looking back, I'm so angry still about the situation. Why do medical professionals encourage women to use formula? This woman knew I planned on breast feeding, but still said I should supplement with formula.

 I know that there is some monetary incentive (I was handed 2 large bags of formula samples as I left the hospital) but is that money enough to compromise children's health? To affect a bond between a mother and her child? To add extra expenses to the family's bill? I just can't imagine that people that would dedicate their lives to taking care of infants and helping bring children into the world would say that money is more important than overall health (mental and physical) of children and their families.

When did the majority of the population start to feel that breast feeding was inappropriate for shopping malls, restaurants. I've heard some crazy things come from people's mouths like "breast milk spoils after 6 months and they need formula", "breast milk isn't as nutritious as formula", " if you breast feed a daughter you'll make her a lesbian and if you breast feed a boy you're being disgusting". HOW DID THESE IDEAS COME OUT? Why do people think its odd to breast feed a child over 6 months of age??

I didn't expect for this post to get so long, or even go in this direction. I was just thinking..

Pictures! Pictures!

4th of July

We got back from our 4th of July week-long extravaganza yesterday. It would take a very long time to go over all the details but in short: we are VERY glad to be home and the next visit to New Jersey will be a very long time from now.

On the positive side: Ryland got to see a lot of family, I got some great pictures of him as always and we gained a VERY cute costume out of the ordeal. My mom went shopping and brought back a skunk costume that she got for $.19, it was a steal. I am going to have a photo shoot sometime this week before we leave for Wisconsin. I can't wait to post the pics.

Day one of my real diet has begun, and good news is: Mark is on board with me! I'm so excited. Usually when I attempt to diet I get sidetracked with burger king that Mark brings home, but since he's on this diet with me that can't happen. I'm hoping once I get into a groove I can stick with it. I find thats the hardest part about starting a diet, getting into a groove.

This week is very busy, I have my final exam in my stat class and then I have the weekend to clean and pack and sunday night we're off for 5 days for Mark's job. I'm pretty excited. The baby is up so I have to run, but I'll post pictures of my little guy in a bit.

I love this quote!

I was reading one of my many AP books and I found this quote and LOVED it..

"From all we know, every primate baby is designed to be physically attached to someone who will feed, protect and care for it, and teach it about being human-they have been adapted over millions of years to expect nothing less."

I don't know why I like this so much. I think it's because its another one of those things that validates how I feel about parenting. Its natural and we're evolved to parent this way so why would I want to parent any other way than what feels "right" instinctively? After hearing people criticize me it's always nice to read something like this.

wisconsin update and well as other stuff

So Saturday our car got broken into, I'm still pretty upset. I just can't understand people who steal.. but, I know it happens and hey, it could have been a lot worse. We've been "carless" since Saturday since the window is busted and there was glass everywhere. Mark cleaned it out today and drove it to work but I don't feel comfortable driving in case a piece of glass we missed flies back and hits Ryland.. good news is tomorrow it will be fixed. YAY! Bad news, we'll be out $200. bleh.. like we have an extra $200 to spend.

I walked 6+ miles today. My feet are officially sore. Since Mark had the car for work, I had to walk to city hall to apply for the homestead tax break or something like that. Pretty much next year we'll save $200 on taxes or something, I promised my dad i'd do it. So anyways, I walked there (just about 3 miles) and then we walked to the park closer to that part of town. I think all the flooding created extra mosquitos. We got half eaten by bugs within 5 minutes so we didn't stay long. I walked through campus and took Ryland to see the horses that are at the campus barn. He even pet one, although I don't think he completely understood the whole concept, but hey, It made my day. 

Mark called me today to tell me he has an interview for ALL the Wisconsin jobs available so July 14 & 15th we'll be making a family trip. I'm pretty excited. Although the idea of spending HOURS in a car with Ryland doesn't sound like very much fun this is a great step for our family. We'll be spending the night in kenosha, Wi, which is about 20 mins from where I grew up. So I called my friend and told her she HAD to drive down that Monday night to see me. I haven't seen her in almost a year so i'm so happy! Tuesday Mark is checking out the store in Kenosha, then we're driving to two other locations near Milwaukee, and then we're heading to Madison. It'll be a pretty crazy day. I don't really know what Ry and I will be doing while Mark is checking out the stores and doing his interview...but I'm sure we'll figure out something. 

thats pretty much all the updates I have right now. Hope everyone is doing well this week!

Feeling motivated today.

So today during my extremely boring stat class I got to thinking about the mess my house has been. You know its bad when a friend surprises you and while looking at the disaster of JUST the living room she laughs and says "you don't usually live like this do you?", yea.. thats bad and embarrassing.

 So I get home today to Mark playing WoW and I say "I want to clean and organize today", about 3 mins later he had a headache and was asleep on the couch (convenient right?), I think he thought I would forget about wanting to clean but I didn't, as he slept I took apart Ryland's crib (it's not like he's uses it anyways), packed all the baby stuff that I don't use, and went through all my junk drawers.. 

Mark woke up for his interview (which I think went well) about an hour and a half later and helped me move our furniture so that our living room is more open-its awesome by the way!!. I dropped baby clothes, and random crap I found off at the Salvation Army (which was a new experience and I don't know if i'll donate to them again, I'm thinking I should try goodwill instead). Overall a pretty productive day, we still have a lot to do (mostly our bedroom and the many many loads of laundry and the kitchen)

I'm feeling pretty good.. maybe this weekend the entire house will look good! 

he's on the move

It's sad but true, Mr. Ryland has become semi-mobile. It makes me sad that he's growing up so quickly. 

Sunday morning he rolled off the bed,  I nearly died. Luckily, as odd as it is, Mark had recently broke the bed (he sat on it and it collapsed) so we are currently sleeping on a mattress on the floor so the fall wasn't too bad, but I was freaking out because he could have seriously hurt himself by hitting his head on the nightstand or something. He was scared but no wounds this time-lucky us! This new found fear of mine caused me to grab his mattress from the crib i've never used and put it on the floor next to our bed, we surrounded it with "padding" so a) he wouldn't get stuck in between the mattress and his little bed and b) I'm freaked out he is going to suffocate so we had to proof it for that as well. Here's a picture of our little set up for him. The last few nights he's started out in his "bed" and moved back up with us around 1 or 2 in the morning. He actually LOVES his little set up, as soon as we put him down he goes nuts! its adorable.

Tonight we put him down and I thought he was asleep, I heard him talking so I sent Mark in to get him (I was busy reading the drama of mamadrama at the moment), Mark said "hes not making any noise, he's fine" about 2 mins later I swore I heard him again so we went to check it out, he had wiggled all the way past the mattress and under a pillow to the floor the sneaky kid. He was upset because he got stuck mid-wiggle. We quickly reconfigured the layout so I think we're good.

I'm not going to lie, its pretty cute seeing how excited he gets when he squirms and gets something that he's been eyeing. He looks up at us and has this HUGE smile on his face like "look what I did mom". My son is adorable. Its a fact.

AMA wants to BAN homebirth?

I have to type quickly but wanted to post a link from CrunchyDomesticGoddess so people could see that the AMA is attempting to BAN homebirths.. I just don't get it. I did not have a homebirth but i'm not sure why the AMA would have an issue with them unless they are concerned about losing money. Irritating.

Moving anxiety..

I could have moving anxiety because I don't know where we're moving yet, Or it could be because I don't know how to tell my parent's we're moving, I don't know what we're going to do with our condo here, and I hate packing..

Mark applied yesterday and already has his first interview lined up for Milwaukee, WI. To me, thats insane. I guess St. Louis is a definite possibility too. On one hand though, I'm SO excited to get out of Ames. For the most part, this place drives me nuts (Although I've finally found someone that I'd actually want to spend my time with), I'm ready for a big city with lots to do with Ryland. This move is going to be the first "big step" for our family. I know that sounds wierd because we've took a huge step having Ryland but currently we live in a condo that is co-owned by my parents and so moving starts our clean slate. We'll be officially on our own and I can't wait for that. We need to be independent and start our life as a family.

I am always exciting about things but always over-think everything and make myself anxious and nervous. Right now I have a knot in my stomach thinking i'm going to have to find an affordable place that I want to live in! We find out probably next week when and where we'll end up..

kind of off topic (ok.. really off topic)
Mamadramauncensored is REDICULOUS. Today I've found out that there is a little clique of women that can't stand me on on my BB, no clue how their little rant even started, a lot of thier information is not true and really I don't care that people don't like me or my opinions but it does irk me a bit because I'm not quite sure what I did to tick people off so much. But eh, thats life. Not everyone is going to like what you have to say. OH well.. Had to add them since reading that damn site has taken up a lot of time today.

its been a while..

So I haven't posted in a few weeks, heres what I've been up to :

I started summer school at Iowa State, I've been insanely busy, in my acct class I have a quiz everyday and homework every day as well. My stat class so far is a piece of cake, I wish I had a better memory- I swear I did all the same stuff my frosh yr of high school which is crazy if you think about it. Pretty sad that as a college student you're not learning anything new.

Rylands been going to a at-home daycare for a few hours a day while i'm in school.. I'm not a big fan of the people hes staying with. The only reason I actually am ok with leaving him there is I know they treat my son well, whenever he sees the couple that watch him he gets a big smile on his face and I figure he wouldn't be ok going with them if he didn't like them.. but to Mark and I they seem to have a bit of an attitude problem when it comes to us.. I don't know if they are like this with everyone or just us because we're young and whatnot. For example, my class starts at 840 so we drop him off at 8 so I can make it to school on time and on most days Mark drives me. Last week I took the bus to school and Mark dropped of Ryland because he had to meet someone at work early, I guess he just kinda handed him off and said he'd be back in a few hours because the lady who watches him, I'll call her "s", gave mark a whole little talk about how they didn't like that we just drop him off and don't have a relationship with them and they don't want to watch him if thats how we're going to be (mind you, when I pick him up I chat so its just when Mark was dropping him off that they didn't like it).. so anyways they half yelled at him for 20 mins (he ended up being late for his apt at work with a client) -who does that? Seriously, if we had time to chat in the AM we prob would drop him off later right?

I prefer that if Mark is home in the morning, Ryland stays with him until I get home, to me that just makes sense (why have a stranger watch my son when he could be spending quality time with his dad, right?) well this one morning Mark told me he was going to drop off Ryland so he could have some alone time.. I said fine but that morning Mark and Ryland fell back asleep on the couch together so I called S and told her that I didn't think Ryland would be in because Mark and he had fallen asleep on the couch, and if he did come it would be in the late morning.. well Mark had to run to work ( yet again) so he just dropped off Ryland and said he'd be back in an hour or so to get him, S ripped him a new one saying that I had called and said Ryland wouldn't be in at all and their daycare was not a place to just drop off a kid for an hour (I don't quite get why she'd be ticked that he was there since we're shelling out $$ to her anyways )..I just feel like there have been a lot of incidents like that and it frusterates me.

Marks been trying to get a promotion, but we'd have to move out of state, which i'm actually excited about. He's looking in Wisconsin but really it could be anywhere from WA to NC. We've already decided as a family that at the end of this sem I'm going to drop school again, for a few reasons 1) financially it doesn't make sense for Ryland to be in daycare, and if I got a job i'd pretty much be PAYING for daycare, I can't justify working to pay for someone to take care of my child ALL DAY just so I get a degree 2) I miss Ryland while i'm at school and even though everyone says its good for me to have a break from him I don't agree and I don't like it 3) If we move, which is around an 80% chance, I'd have to leave school anyways and re-find a sitter and move into a home and everything else... The only thing is i'm terrified of the reaction my parents are going to have (yes, i'm married with a child and still fear the wrath of my parents) they are so happy and keep saying how I can't put my life on hold and i'm getting my act together (they were not happy about me having a child so young), part of me says wow i'm a huge disapointment as a child and the other part of me says i'm doing whats best for my child and my family which sits way better with me.

As for Ryland, my litte man is sitting up.. not for long periods of time somewhere between 5-10 seconds on average (last night we had a fluke of like 3 mins). Its so sad, hes growing up so fast already.. soon he'll be crawling around and talking to us, i'm going to miss my cuddly boy. Hes even grown out of his carseat!! Mark and I are driving to BRU (babies R us) to pick up a bigger seat, its so wierd to think that hes already out of an infant carrier. Today we did his 4 month check up, hes 18lbs and 26 inches. I was worried about telling the doc that I was going to do a delayed vac schedule but he was completely fine with it and it went great, I can def tell this time that Ryland is going to do a lot better than he did last time!

We did take him to his cardiologist and they found more problems but this post is already FAR too long. So I'm done writing for now.

A formula feeding Lactivist?

Although I do use formula, it was by NO means what I wanted to do. Unfortuneatly Ryland's heart condition/surgery prohibited me from breast feeding my son and when he was able to breast feed he had no interest since the bottle is much easier than taking the breast. I pumped for a month but since a machine is no where close to what an infant can stimulate I dried up and sadly no mix of medication, mothers milk tea and fenu greek would bring it back..

I suppose its odd that a formula feeding mother is a lactavist, meaning I'm a huge breast feeding supporter and recommend that EVERY woman breast feed her child for as long as she can so that her child get the benefits of breastfeeding.

If however you choose not to breast feed here is some information from the Askdrsears website that will help you choose the best formulas for you baby and maybe help you understand why breast feeding is the BEST option for your child.

COMPARISON OF FORMULAS AND BREASTMILK
To be fair, formula companies have produced milk for babies which, at least on paper, seems to resemble the real thing. Formula is definitely better than it used to be. But on close inspection, what the factories make doesn't quite measure up to what mom makes. It is nearly impossible for artificial baby milk manufacturers to make a milk with nutrients even close to what mothers' bodies can make. And these companies' primary goal is to make a profit, so marketing and manufacturing issues influence what finally gets into the can.

One of our concerns is that even though formula-fed infants appear to grow normally, are they really thriving? Thriving means more than just getting bigger. It means developing to the child's fullest physical, emotional, and intellectual potential. We just don't know about all the long-term effects of tampering with Mother Nature – though we do know that there are significant health differences between formula-fed and breastfed infants. Human milk is a live substance containing live white blood cells and immune-fighting substances, and is a dynamic, changing nutritional source, which daily (sometimes hourly) adjusts to meet the individual needs of a growing baby. Formulas are nothing more than a collection of dead nutrients. They do not contain living white cells, digestive enzymes, or immune factors. In terms of human history, they are a new experiment.

Even though the Infant Formula Act passed by Congress in 1985 mandates the Food and Drug Administration to see that formulas contain all the nutrients that babies need, we don't really know everything there is to know about what babies need. The good news is that formula companies are constantly updating their recipe in order to keep up with new research into infant nutrition. The bad news is that each change in formula is really just a new experiment.

CHOOSING FORMULA
When it comes to infant formula, parents need to know a few simple facts:
Be sure to choose a DHA-enriched formula. Most, if not all of the US formula companies will offer AA/DHA-enriched formulas. For information about the brain-building benefits of DHA click on www.Store.Martek.com.
There are some subtle differences among the major brands of infant formulas which may affect how your baby tolerates one formula over another. Reading the labels may leave you feeling like you need a Ph.D in biochemistry to make an intelligent decision. We want to help you with an analysis of the big three nutrients: proteins, fats, and carbohydrates. The vitamins and minerals in all formulas are similar, since these are governed by strict regulations, however, the nutritional fine points of the fats, carbohydrates, and proteins differ from one brand to another, as the marketing departments of each company are very willing to point out, especially to pediatricians.

PLEASE check out his website at askdrsears.com for all the information regarding how to pick out formulas and what to look for as well as the TONS of information he has available about parenting and children in general, his site is an incredible resource for parents.

Why wear your baby?

So I was lurking on Crunchydomesticgoddess and happened to click on one of her side bar links to Nest baby slings and found an awesome list of reasons to wear your baby, heres what they had:

Why Wear Baby?

1. Baby-wearing recreates the oneness of the baby and mother that existed in the womb which is absolutely necessary for proper development of the infant and the mother’s levels of mothering hormone, prolactin.
2. 
   Baby-wearing provides fathers a way to share the nurturing as well as enhances bonding in the family.
3. 
   Baby-carrying helps the baby maintain equilibrium and provides movement to the baby in all three directions, essential to proprioception (body awareness).
4. 
   Baby-carrying provides the natural rhythm of movement and tactile stimulation that small babies need for proper neurological development. Constantly carried babies fall asleep quickly in the comfort of their sling – some babies may always fall asleep while carried.
5. 
   Baby-carrying stimulates optimal development of the cerebellum of the brain, the only part of the brain that continually increases in cells as the baby gets older.
6. 
   Baby-carrying enables the mother to be acutely responsive and aware of her baby’s cues and signals. Baby-carrying increases maternal sensitivity and heightens parent’s perceptions of their children’s needs. Mothers become so sensitive to their baby that they can anticipate hunger needs, waking, and the need for a clean diaper.
7. 
   Baby-carrying allows the baby to be an active participant in the walking, talking, laughing, movement, and working of the parent.
8. 
   Baby-wearing in a sling or backpack is the most comfortable and easy way to hold baby on the parent’s shoulders, backs and hips. Baby-wearing distributes weight evenly from parent’s shoulders to hips and aligns baby’s center of gravity as close to parent’s body as possible. Plastic carseat carriers create severe torsion and strain in the caregiver’s back and arms, and an unnatural gait.
9. 
   Babies are easy to wear and parents learn to relax and touch, even if they were not touched often as children or are awkward with physical intimacy and closeness.
10. 
    Carrying infants lowers the level of stress hormones and adrenalin circulating in the blood stream of the infant, as well as the parent/caregiver.
11. 
    Babies that are carried develop a strong bond with their mothers and a solid emotional security pattern in the foundations of their psyche.
12. 
    Baby carrying greatly reduces crying and fussiness (one study reported in the 1986 Paediatrics Medical Journal found 43% less crying during the day and 51% less at night), mothers feel more competent and nurturing toward their infant and are less likely to act in abusive ways towards their children. This author found that baby-carrying resulted in crying less than 1% of the time for the first year of the baby’s life.
13. 
    Continuously carried infants actually initiate separation faster and become more emotionally self-reliant.
14. 
    Baby-carrying creates autonomy as well as a healthy development of physical intimacy and touching between parents and children.
15. Baby-carrying gives healthy messages of touching to children and they learn to give and receive affection and touching in healthy ways. Carried infants are less likely to have sexual problems later in life.
16. 
    Babies who are touched and carried continuously develop larger brains than infants who are denied this stimulation.
17. 
    Babies who are carried have a lower mortality rate than infants who are denied this constant contact.
18. 
    Baby-carrying greatly benefits premature infants and lowers their mortality rate (called Kangaroo care in Neonatal nursing).
19. 
    Babies who are carried cry less, smile more, are less prone to vomiting and spitting up.
20. 
    Infants who are carried experience reduced or little incidence of colic.
21. 
    Carried babies experience an enhanced degree of bonding with their caregiver.
22. 
    Baby-carrying develops bonding and attachment between parent and child, shows love and affection, and parental-child love is expressed and actively demonstrated on a constant basis.
    Baby-carrying tells children they are loved, safe, secured and cared for.
23. 
    Baby-carrying allows children to be AT the center of activity rather than being the center of attention, which is a healthy atmosphere for development of empathy, affection and a healthy sense of self.
24. 
    Baby-carrying offers constant and easy access to the infant’s food source, mother’s breastmilk.
    Babies sleep comfortably and for longer periods of time while carried.
25. 
    Babies who are carried have a solid sense of self-esteem and independence.
26. 
    Carrying of the infant is the most important factor responsible for the infant’s normal and social development.
27. 
    Baby-carrying is a natural soothing baby tranquilizer which helps fussy or tired infants fall asleep.
28. 
    Baby-carrying stimulates the tactile receptors in the skin, developing muscle tone, increases cardiac output which increases circulation, promotes respiration and aids in digestion.
29. 
    Baby-carrying on the body provides the elements of pressure, motion, pleasure, warmth, security, sound that is essential to the development of the vestibular nervous system during infant development.
30. 
    Baby-carrying provides the exact level and kind of stimulation an infant requires, energizing their nervous system and providing quiet and calm alertness in the infant.
31. 
    Older infants learn more as they are in a vertical position or semi-vertical position which encourages an alert state of arousal.
32. Baby-carrying develops the muscles needed for the infant to sit, stand and walk. The baby must use his muscles to fight gravity and hold his head up, building necessary muscle strength, control, and coordination.
33. 
    Baby carrying constantly allows the baby to complete its extra-uterine gestation period which is needed for the proper development and health of the infant.
34. 
    Baby-carrying creates an intuitive sensitivity that allows mother to anticipate her baby’s every mood and need and fully experience the joy of mothering.
35. 
    Babywearing can help reduce the severity of postpartum depression in mothers who have had negative or endocrine-disrupting (epidurals and/or IV pitocin)) birth/delivery experiences, and can help stabilize new mother emotions.

grilling!

I'm so excited its getting nice out!! Yesterday Mark bought a mini-grill and we made burgers-they were awesome. Tonight i'm pretty sure we're doing kabobs.

I forgot how much I love grilling..We even got Ryland to help daddy out! I love being able to take Ryland outside, its so much better than being cooped up in the condo- I was starting to get cabin fever!

In other news our house is a mess, I really dont know how it gets so bad..ugh! I need to clean tonight (i've already started a little). Ryland has been on a wierd sleeping schedule lately.. he fell asleep at 1 last night, woke up at 530 to eat, then woke up at 7 to eat more then slept till12!!!!! I don't know if hes going through a growth spurt of if hes just got his days and nights mixed up. Oh well, i'm sure we'll figure it out.

Win an Ergo Carrier!

Please check out this site to entry for a chance to win a free Ergo carrier!

Cloth Diapering is harder than I thought...

So since i'm in this eco-craze right now I went about spent almost $200 on bumgenius cloth diapers last week , they arrived in the mail and I was SO excited because well.. because mail excites me!

Ryland was put into them almost immediately and he looked adorable. I loved the way they fit, I loved how they felt when I held him (all comfy and soft). As you can imagine when I woke up this morning at 3am soaked in urine the love of the cloth was OVER. I had always heard women RAVE about how they love cloth because there are "no leaks", we've experienced a leak here or there with disposables but nothing like I had experienced this morning. The puddle of pee that covered my sheets was the size of Ryland, it looked as if he didn't have a diaper on at all and just peed all over. You may be thinking, well that happens if its been hours since you've changed him, but no-it was 3 hours. not any longer than a normal change during the day.... what can I say? my son can pee!

Today hes in sposies again, and I realize its purely because i'm angry. I need to give them another shot, or maybe find a different type of cloth for nighttime, I'm just so discouraged now. Plus, now I have extra laundry to do as if the house isnt out of control anyways. I don't know if this is just me, or everyone but even little things like this make me feel insecure, like I'm an idiot and can't figure out how to use something properly. Kinda like working out at the gym, I hate going because I always feel like i'm doing something wrong, even running on the treadmill! Hopefully i'm not alone.

Anyways, I've decided that at nights he will be in disposables until I can figure out what cloth diapers would be best for night time, but i'm sticking to cloth during the day! After years of thoughtless waste I need to do it for the environment!!

Earth Day!

Happy Earth Day!!!

In honor of Earth Day Ryland and I are going to spend most of our day outside, enjoying this incredible weather AND picking up trash that we find along the way! I'm glad is so nice out because by us being outside we're not using up electricity (lights, TV, COMPUTER!) so it'll add to our Earth Day celebration!

I'm hoping I get the cloth diapers I ordered last week today, I can't wait to start using them. I'm not going to lie, I'm a bit nervous about the transition but when I think about how many diapers he goes through a week and how long those diapers sit in a landfill it makes me sick so this is the best thing we can do!

I'm trying to get Mark on board with having a compost in our house. Right now the idea of worms hanging out really bothers him, I think I have a chance of winning this battle but like everything else, its a wait and see game.

As some of you know, I'm a big-time admirer of Amy from Crunchy Domestic Goddess. For Earth Day she is holding a giveaway so you should def check out her site, the winner is going to get some pretty awesome stuff!

Here are some ideas on how you're family can make small changes for our environment from TheDailyGreen

• Pay bills online
• Fill the Fridge
• Turn off the tap
• Walk up instead of Drive through
• Put on a sweater
• Donate instead of throwing away clothing
• Microwave in glass

Just a few of the incredibly EASY things you can do in everyday life to do your part! Check out the link for ALL the ideas and explanations to why you want to do these things!

ugh, i'm sick of being HUGE

Being huge and pregnant is one thing. Its no fun but its something you learn to accept because you're carrying your child. Post-pregnant bodies however are not easily accepted. I don't understand the women that talk about how they LOVE their bodies. I understand the badge of honor with the stretchmarks, I understand that this is what our bodies look like because we gave birth, I even would do it all over again because I love my son more than anything but no, I don't LOVE my body- I HATE IT!

I just bought size 16 jeans!!! How the heck did I go from an 8 (which I wasn't happy with) to a 16!? and even in the 14 (which by the way goes up to my belly button) you can see fat sticking out in EVERYTHING I wear. I am now always in a hoodie, or I don't leave my house. I think no one should look like a muffin top coming out of their pants, its just disgusting. I gained 40 lbs while I was pregnant, 20 was gone in the first 2 weeks, so 20 lbs heavier than I was 12ish months ago and i'm wearing jeans twice as big and I have fat hanging EVERYWHERE!

bleh, its just so upsetting..i'm sick of feeling this way..

Finally the sun!

Its 70 degrees out today, I can't believe it, just last weekend it snowed! I took advantage of the incredible weather and took Ryland out. Here are some pics (you all know i'm camera crazy) Sad thing is it's supposed to be raining for the rest of the week :-(

Take 20 mins

Please take 20 mins to visit this site http://www.storyofstuff.com/

It will really make you think...

I am in need of change.

This will be a short post, but its something I felt that I needed to write down.. sort of to be a promise to myself that I am going to do it.

After lots of reading about all the pesticides, chemicals and because I want to help the environment I've decided to become more eco-friendly and also start eating/ washing/ being organic.

I think this will be quite the challenge for Mark, but its something that is important to me. I want Ryland to grow up healthy, not eating crap from McDonalds, not being around cleaning supplies that are harmful to him. I think it will be a tough adjustment at first but its def worth it. I'm really excited. A change is good. I need it.

oh! on a sidenote, I got my AP books today! I can't wait to read them!! :-)

Oh Vaccines..

I had never heard about the controvery around vaccinations before being a member of babycenter. After reading many mixed reviews from the posters I decided to research the safety of vaccines on the AAP, AMA, CDC and IOM websites myself to get a better understanding of what the issues were. I found that most of the research I found related to vaccines and autism, which was my main concern due to all the media attention relating to the topic so I was okay with focusing my attention to that issue.

I read a good chunk of the immunization safety review:vaccines and Autism (www.nap.edu/?record_id=10997) and based on what I found I decided to vaccinate Ryland. What I found throughout the review was:

The committee concludes that the body of epidemiological

evidence favors rejection of a causal relationship

between the MMR vaccine and autism.

They stated that low doses of thimerosal exposure has not been demonstrated to be associated w/ effects on the nervous system. I have to admit that after reading that I felt more at ease, considering my main concerns w/ vaccinations was the risk of autism.

I still wanted to consult Ryland's ped though to find out how he felt about vaccines, and learn a bit more, he was great about going over what each vaccine was, and why he felt it was important for me to vaccinate my son. He went over stories about a case in Britian where a man went on about how vaccinations caused nervous system damage and as a result the number of children vaccinated went down, he then said there was an outbreak of measles or something (sorry, my memory is terrible) and children died while the rate of autism stayed the same during that time, then because of the increase of children dying due to not being vaccinated, vaccine rates increased again. He told me that more mercury is found in breastmilk than vaccines, which I didn't even think about. He also tried to make me feel "safe" saying that all the peds in the office had their children vaccinated and it was the best thing I could do as a mother. So he was vaccinated.

I trusted his ped an incredible amount, not just because he was a doctor with "knowledge" on the subject but because that man saved my son's life. If it weren't for him I would have taken Ryland home and he would have died within the week (born with a coarch, but displayed no signs minus a small heart murmer-usually coarch babies are blue, have little movement etc).

I can say now, I regret the decision to vaccinate Ryland. I feel like even though I was briefed about what each vaccine was for, I was not prepared for the effects that it would have on my son, let alone the low immunization success rates and having to continue giving him the vaccines in order for them to work. I feel that it is part of the medical communitys job to let us know EVERYTHING about vaccines- the pros and the cons. In today's society we're told to take the doctors advice, when I tried to do my research I went to "reputable" sites instead of basing my opionings off BCC or blogs and I feel that I was still given biased information collected by people that make money by giving children vaccinations.

My son, who rarely fusses, has been fussy for almost 3 full days now. i've tried tylenol, cuddling, everything I can think of and hes still fussing. not just fussing, full out crying! I can't handle it!!My son is in pain and it is 100% my fault. He has puked more in the last 3 days then he has his entire life, he had a fever for 2 days, and has been extremely sleepy. I'm furious.

I'm going to research Dr Sears vaccine schedule more. I need to find out if children need to be vaccinated before entering daycare (I think they do), A lot of this post was scrambled together because i've been cuddling my poor son who has been passed out while typing and I have a million thoughts running through my head. I feel completely betrayed.

I don't get how when I tell people how Ryland is feeling I get an "oh he'll get over it, all babies react that way" speech. I don't get how such a bad reaction to vaccines is just accepted by parents. Why is it that I don't learn about things until after I do them? Where is a new-unexperienced parent supposed to go to learn(which includes what sources to trust).

I'm just very frusterated...and sad.

9 week photos!

Couldn't resist putting up the photos I took today of Ryland :-)

Over-Attached??

The second I hear my son crying I run to grab him and comfort him, my husband thinks that I shouldnt get him so quickly because I'm "spoiling" him, I just feel like he wouldn't cry if he didnt need something, even if that something is being held.. Right now its MY job to make sure he feels comforted and loved and safe, and so when he needs to be held i'm going to hold him and when he needs to eat (even if he ate 45 minutes earlier) i'll feed him.. I get a lot of crap from a lot of people for doing this, most everyone tells me he needs to be on a schedule, but in all honesty, i'm 21 and i'm not even on a schedule so how can I expect it of my little guy??

My mother-in-law told me that infants think that they are hungry even when they aren't so I should give Ryland water otherwise i'm teaching him to eat whenever he wants to be comforted and i'm creating a "fat child". The first thing I thought when she told me that is what a load of bullshit. I'm sorry, but even before I had a child I knew that you are not supposed to give a newborn water! The idea that my son doesn't know what he wants when right now most of his actions are based on what he needs is rediculous. If Ryland isn't hungry then he refuses to eat, i'm never the one to tell him hes finished. Also, my husband and I are well.. fat! and I can tell you right now that I was never fat child, I didn't start gaining weight until high school and my husband (whether he thinks so or not) was kinda a chubby kid, so how does she figure that feeding a child when they need it will create a fat kid when she gave her son water and he was a fat kid?

My husband's great grandma told me that I should be giving Ryland rice cereal so that he'll sleep through the night...and this was after I told her that hes a great sleeper and usually only wakes up once throughout the entire night. I never realized until having a child that society expects so much from an infant, that they think a 2 month old is going to follow MY rules and do what I want instead of it being the other way around.. Don't get me wrong, once he hits a certain age I realize that rules will have to be in place, but I don't see that happening for a long time..

Its not just my in-laws that give me crap about how i'm choosing to parent, my own father does the same thing! Today I must have made a comment about how Ryland cuddles with me at night, my dad jumped on me like I had said I feed him steak! He goes "what!? he sleeps with you?" and I said "of course!", because to me co-sleeping is 100% the natural thing to do. I don't know about most new mothers, but I wake up throughout the night naturally just to check on Ryland, not because he does anything but just because. He sleeps best when hes cuddled up next to me, and I find it easier to feed him and tend to him when he does wake up since hes right there. I can't imagine waking up to a screaming baby at 3am just because someone told me my child needs to be in a crib down the hall... Mark wasn't happy about the co-sleeping at all, but now that its been 2 months I think he really likes it, if I take a shower in the morning I come back to the two of them cuddled up on the bed together, I love that. I always find it funny that people say that mothers will suffocate their babies if they co-sleep, like people don't realize that theres a mothers intuition of where the baby is at all times..

I never knew there was a name for the parenting style I have, I always just figured its what feels right so thats what I'm going to do, but now I find myself among ATTACHMENT PARENTING group, I think that there is a very negative association towards women/parents who parent their children like this, but I don't understand why. I don't really know when letting your child cry it out (CIO) and scheduling, pushing formula etc became the mainstream way to parent. I remember when my friend got pregnant, I asked her if she was nervous about breastfeeding and her reaction was "I'm not going to nurse!, I was formula fed and i'm going to end up back at work so why would I let him get used to breastfeeding?".. I'm not going to lie, I was shocked. Now, I formula feed, not because it was my plan, or even my choice but rather because of my odd circumstances and I still 100% plan to BF my next child. I just don't know when everything I thought was normal turns out to be non-mainstream. When did formula become more popular that breastfeeding.. I mean, in cost ALONE I would expect it to be the other way around..

I don't think this whole post made any sense, but it was kind of a collection of thoughts that I had, maybe not completely finshed thoughts since I had so much running through my head, but you get the idea. The point I guess i Was trying to make is why is it that when you go with your gut instincts as a parent and tend to your child are you considered overbearing and over attached but when you go against your gut, let your child cry etc you're considered a great parent?? I feel like the fact that i'm so attentive to Ryland makes me a great mother and I feel like hes responded really well, he smiles ,coos even talks a bit already and I don't think he would be like that if I ignored him like people say I should.

there's my 2 cents for today..