The second I hear my son crying I run to grab him and comfort him, my husband thinks that I shouldnt get him so quickly because I'm "spoiling" him, I just feel like he wouldn't cry if he didnt need something, even if that something is being held.. Right now its MY job to make sure he feels comforted and loved and safe, and so when he needs to be held i'm going to hold him and when he needs to eat (even if he ate 45 minutes earlier) i'll feed him.. I get a lot of crap from a lot of people for doing this, most everyone tells me he needs to be on a schedule, but in all honesty, i'm 21 and i'm not even on a schedule so how can I expect it of my little guy??My mother-in-law told me that infants think that they are hungry even when they aren't so I should give Ryland water otherwise i'm teaching him to eat whenever he wants to be comforted and i'm creating a "fat child". The first thing I thought when she told me that is what a load of bullshit. I'm sorry, but even before I had a child I knew that you are not supposed to give a newborn water! The idea that my son doesn't know what he wants when right now most of his actions are based on what he needs is rediculous. If Ryland isn't hungry then he refuses to eat, i'm never the one to tell him hes finished. Also, my husband and I are well.. fat! and I can tell you right now that I was never fat child, I didn't start gaining weight until high school and my husband (whether he thinks so or not) was kinda a chubby kid, so how does she figure that feeding a child when they need it will create a fat kid when she gave her son water and he was a fat kid?
My husband's great grandma told me that I should be giving Ryland rice cereal so that he'll sleep through the night...and this was after I told her that hes a great sleeper and usually only wakes up once throughout the entire night. I never realized until having a child that society expects so much from an infant, that they think a 2 month old is going to follow MY rules and do what I want instead of it being the other way around.. Don't get me wrong, once he hits a certain age I realize that rules will have to be in place, but I don't see that happening for a long time..
Its not just my in-laws that give me crap about how i'm choosing to parent, my own father does the same thing! Today I must have made a comment about how Ryland cuddles with me at night, my dad jumped on me like I had said I feed him steak! He goes "what!? he sleeps with you?" and I said "of course!", because to me co-sleeping is 100% the natural thing to do. I don't know about most new mothers, but I wake up throughout the night naturally just to check on Ryland, not because he does anything but just because. He sleeps best when hes cuddled up next to me, and I find it easier to feed him and tend to him when he does wake up since hes right there. I can't imagine waking up to a screaming baby at 3am just because someone told me my child needs to be in a crib down the hall... Mark wasn't happy about the co-sleeping at all, but now that its been 2 months I think he really likes it, if I take a shower in the morning I come back to the two of them cuddled up on the bed together, I love that. I always find it funny that people say that mothers will suffocate their babies if they co-sleep, like people don't realize that theres a mothers intuition of where the baby is at all times..
I never knew there was a name for the parenting style I have, I always just figured its what feels right so thats what I'm going to do, but now I find myself among ATTACHMENT PARENTING group, I think that there is a very negative association towards women/parents who parent their children like this, but I don't understand why. I don't really know when letting your child cry it out (CIO) and scheduling, pushing formula etc became the mainstream way to parent. I remember when my friend got pregnant, I asked her if she was nervous about breastfeeding and her reaction was "I'm not going to nurse!, I was formula fed and i'm going to end up back at work so why would I let him get used to breastfeeding?".. I'm not going to lie, I was shocked. Now, I formula feed, not because it was my plan, or even my choice but rather because of my odd circumstances and I still 100% plan to BF my next child. I just don't know when everything I thought was normal turns out to be non-mainstream. When did formula become more popular that breastfeeding.. I mean, in cost ALONE I would expect it to be the other way around..
I don't think this whole post made any sense, but it was kind of a collection of thoughts that I had, maybe not completely finshed thoughts since I had so much running through my head, but you get the idea. The point I guess i Was trying to make is why is it that when you go with your gut instincts as a parent and tend to your child are you considered overbearing and over attached but when you go against your gut, let your child cry etc you're considered a great parent?? I feel like the fact that i'm so attentive to Ryland makes me a great mother and I feel like hes responded really well, he smiles ,coos even talks a bit already and I don't think he would be like that if I ignored him like people say I should.
there's my 2 cents for today..
