its been a while..

So I haven't posted in a few weeks, heres what I've been up to :

I started summer school at Iowa State, I've been insanely busy, in my acct class I have a quiz everyday and homework every day as well. My stat class so far is a piece of cake, I wish I had a better memory- I swear I did all the same stuff my frosh yr of high school which is crazy if you think about it. Pretty sad that as a college student you're not learning anything new.

Rylands been going to a at-home daycare for a few hours a day while i'm in school.. I'm not a big fan of the people hes staying with. The only reason I actually am ok with leaving him there is I know they treat my son well, whenever he sees the couple that watch him he gets a big smile on his face and I figure he wouldn't be ok going with them if he didn't like them.. but to Mark and I they seem to have a bit of an attitude problem when it comes to us.. I don't know if they are like this with everyone or just us because we're young and whatnot. For example, my class starts at 840 so we drop him off at 8 so I can make it to school on time and on most days Mark drives me. Last week I took the bus to school and Mark dropped of Ryland because he had to meet someone at work early, I guess he just kinda handed him off and said he'd be back in a few hours because the lady who watches him, I'll call her "s", gave mark a whole little talk about how they didn't like that we just drop him off and don't have a relationship with them and they don't want to watch him if thats how we're going to be (mind you, when I pick him up I chat so its just when Mark was dropping him off that they didn't like it).. so anyways they half yelled at him for 20 mins (he ended up being late for his apt at work with a client) -who does that? Seriously, if we had time to chat in the AM we prob would drop him off later right?

I prefer that if Mark is home in the morning, Ryland stays with him until I get home, to me that just makes sense (why have a stranger watch my son when he could be spending quality time with his dad, right?) well this one morning Mark told me he was going to drop off Ryland so he could have some alone time.. I said fine but that morning Mark and Ryland fell back asleep on the couch together so I called S and told her that I didn't think Ryland would be in because Mark and he had fallen asleep on the couch, and if he did come it would be in the late morning.. well Mark had to run to work ( yet again) so he just dropped off Ryland and said he'd be back in an hour or so to get him, S ripped him a new one saying that I had called and said Ryland wouldn't be in at all and their daycare was not a place to just drop off a kid for an hour (I don't quite get why she'd be ticked that he was there since we're shelling out $$ to her anyways )..I just feel like there have been a lot of incidents like that and it frusterates me.

Marks been trying to get a promotion, but we'd have to move out of state, which i'm actually excited about. He's looking in Wisconsin but really it could be anywhere from WA to NC. We've already decided as a family that at the end of this sem I'm going to drop school again, for a few reasons 1) financially it doesn't make sense for Ryland to be in daycare, and if I got a job i'd pretty much be PAYING for daycare, I can't justify working to pay for someone to take care of my child ALL DAY just so I get a degree 2) I miss Ryland while i'm at school and even though everyone says its good for me to have a break from him I don't agree and I don't like it 3) If we move, which is around an 80% chance, I'd have to leave school anyways and re-find a sitter and move into a home and everything else... The only thing is i'm terrified of the reaction my parents are going to have (yes, i'm married with a child and still fear the wrath of my parents) they are so happy and keep saying how I can't put my life on hold and i'm getting my act together (they were not happy about me having a child so young), part of me says wow i'm a huge disapointment as a child and the other part of me says i'm doing whats best for my child and my family which sits way better with me.

As for Ryland, my litte man is sitting up.. not for long periods of time somewhere between 5-10 seconds on average (last night we had a fluke of like 3 mins). Its so sad, hes growing up so fast already.. soon he'll be crawling around and talking to us, i'm going to miss my cuddly boy. Hes even grown out of his carseat!! Mark and I are driving to BRU (babies R us) to pick up a bigger seat, its so wierd to think that hes already out of an infant carrier. Today we did his 4 month check up, hes 18lbs and 26 inches. I was worried about telling the doc that I was going to do a delayed vac schedule but he was completely fine with it and it went great, I can def tell this time that Ryland is going to do a lot better than he did last time!

We did take him to his cardiologist and they found more problems but this post is already FAR too long. So I'm done writing for now.